Swab Me Deck Yarrrr

Hello there friends and various other terrestrial blobs.
Oh what's that, oh..

Oh it's another famed picture of Tom at the library, but what's that? Oh wow, this time he's in the family history room. Sadly, our time was cut short yesterday, due to my depleting laptop battery. But no no no, not today. Today I am plugged in, and so is my laptop. Aha see what I did there, I made a joke! One interesting thing I stumbled upon yesterday was 'anti jokes'. That is, a joke that has an anti punch line, but still makes you laugh as much as the predicted punchline would.
 For example,

Q: What's worse than a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust

Q: A dog walked into a bar
A: He was quickly shown out because the bar had a no pets policy

I LOVE this kind of humour, this unexpected, blunt, somewhat slapstick comedy, where we are taken by surprise. Another comic form of language I use much too often is the 'and then' joke or phrase. The 'and then' joke is where someone will say something, say a line or ask a question, and then abruptly cut themselves off or finish someones line by using a synonym of what they are referring too. This is quite poorly explained but let me give you an example. Unfortunately many of my examples are sexual, so please, bare with me.
"Hey we're going skiing, do you guys want to come?"
"Yeah okay, and we'd also like to go skiing with you"

For you see, it's the art of implication and the use of synonyms that really sells these kinds of jokes.
It's implied this person is 'coming' but uh..in a different way first. Sorry about that, as I said, this humour is riddled with sexual innuendo.

Anyway, all stupid humour aside, here is a site that offers funny stories and poorly a constructed rating system. People post up funny situations or scenarios that have occurred to them or others. It's a bit like Facebook but without the ducklips selfie photos and depressing, attention seeking statuses. Think of this site as 'all the Facebook statuses that make you laugh and go "hey, I want to like that"'

I have been in a 'pirate' sort of mood these last few weeks. And no I don't mean that I've been mindlessly torrenting files from the internet, I mean legit PIRATE, as in YARRRR. Well not quite literally, It's not like I've been sailing around Somalia commandeering sea vessels of the innocent. When I say pirate, I mean I've been throwing out all the classic lines, using the jokes "why are pirates pirates?" "because they ARRRR", and contemplating dressing in black ropes and gouging out my own eye. What is the deal with that, the pirates have it quite rough, don't you think? They have one of their legs missing, and replaced by a piece of wood. Like, who performed that surgery? was the Pirate just chilling in the ICU of the hospital saying "yarr get me another packet of chips please". Secondly, they have a missing eye, that's like all your depth gone. And half your frontal vision just gone. They are constantly on the water. Seriously that would get so boring, i bet most of them don't even have black ops, they're just stuck with all the crappy racing games from EB Games that no one wants buy. All the pre-owned disks that cost like <$10. And so as if all this isn't bad enough, they then have to sit birds or parrots or gullahs or whatever those things are on their shoulders all day! How much shit do you think comes out of those things. I bet the pirates don't even have fabric softener for the clothes and no one thought to buy them some Ajax to get all the bird poo stains out.

So heres an animation I made a few years back in pivot.

This is one of my best animations, not necessarily the spacing, smoothness or anything, but the backgrounds, sounds, 3D positioning, and funny characters.

Here is another animation I made: Underlined Text is purple and Clickable
This animation is not good at all, in fact it's quite terrible! but it was made a long time ago, and reflects my interest in animating. It also has a ridiculous amount of views on youtube!!

Ok moving on, here's a nice picture of my VIS101 lecturer as a boat. He'd have a nice rudder, if you know what i'm saying. A lot of the time you won't.

As you can see he's looking pretty good, got the nice beard and glasses. But here is the first picture of him I drew, our first official date (I joke that's weird) (actually this whole blog is weird so i'm just gunna let it slide)

Yeah so I added a few love hearts around this one, in case he bumped into me and the book opened and happened to be on this page...ah one can dream.

Okay, so here's something I've been thinking for a while, does anyone reckon Matt Barron looks a bit like Sergeant Batista from the tv series Dexter. Okay maybe not from these two photos, but I swear they look a little alike. Can we see if he can start wearing Hawaiian shirts and a bowler hat to our workshops? That would be nice, I'd like that.

Okay amigos, this has been a long one, thanks for sticking it out. Happy blogging! Someone get me a coffee